would you like to try the word "buzz"?

this is how i felt today, except i was in billy madison's place and my students were in his teacher's place.  they were not exacting their revenge on me, as billy's teacher was.  they were simply calling out random words for me to write in cursive during our daily 15-minute lesson.  for most adults, 3rd grade teachers, in particular, cursive is no big deal.  for me, however, it is a chore, an inconvenience, and a torturous task.

from 1st grade until the end of 5th grade, i looked forward to the day when i could "test out" of handwriting class and be allowed to write in print if i so desired.  thinking back, that was the silliest thing i've ever heard of. why would someone spend almost five years of their life learning cursive, only to cast it aside, never to be picked up again?  though i loved to look at the elegant arches and loops of my grandmother's writing, cast it aside, i did.  cursive was a hassle, because there was a perfect slant one had to attain, and print was not really an option, because it was so boring.  i had an important decision to make.  i soon settled into a wonderful conglomeration i call "pseudo-cursive".  it's quick and easy to accomplish and keeps your readers ever-guessing if you wrote  'r' or 'v' or 'e' or 'l'.

when i decided to become a teacher, pseudo-cursive stayed with me until i reached that class where we all had to complete a zaner bloser correspondence penmanship course.  it was several weeks long and was not what a 21year old girl wanted to be doing at night.  i survived without having to resubmit my work because it was "too sloppy".  i took pride in that, especially when i saw the cattiest girl in the program check her mail and gasp when she realized she had not done her best work and would subsequently be a week behind.

soon afterward, cursive became something i did only when instructing my students in this dying art.  that leads us back to today...

like billy madison, Zs get me.  Fs and Ts do too.  i don't have the patience.  for some strange reason, one of the kids asked me to write the name zane on the board during cursive time.  it was all i could do to keep it together to scribe that four-letter word.  i did it, nonetheless, but in my mind, i was thinking, "i hate cursive and i hate all of you!  i'm never coming back to school!  NEVER!"

once the lesson came to a close, i was back to my normal, pseudo-cursive-writing self and will be until 10:00 tomorrow morning.

the greatest lie i ever told

this week was the dreaded ACTAAP...the arkansas benchmark test...the monster that occupies 3rd-8th grade teachers' dreams from august to mid-april.  this was my 6th year administering this assessment and it never gets easier or more fun- unless walking around for four hours four (or five) days a week sans iphone is your cup of tea...  


come monday morning, my class had a serious case of ants in their pants.  that first day of testing was a nightmare, with students failing to use the silent signals i had spent all year teaching.  


"MY PENCIL BROKE!" 
"I'M HAVING ALLERGIES!"  
"DO I USE THIS SPACE AS SCRATCH PAPER!?!"


even with gentle reminders, these kids just weren't getting it.  i had to come up with something to steer their focus back to the task at hand.  unfortunately, my great epiphany did not appear until 8:19 tuesday morning, a mere 11 minutes before testing officially commenced.  i suddenly felt the need to moisturize my hands, so i turned to my favorite lotion, which had been a gift from a student this christmas.  as i squeezed a dime-sized dollop onto my palm and slathered it on, i was instantly enveloped in pomegranate-infused calm.  that's when it hit me!


i immediately went to carson, the coolest and cutest boy in my class and whispered, 


"hey, dude, i have some magical testing lotion for you.  it'll calm your nerves and help you not leave any answers blank.  tell everyone at your table."


he eagerly nodded, held out his hands, and leaned over to his elbow buddy to give her my message.


i made my way to each table and planted the secret to success in the ear of the most influential student in the group. pretty soon, everyone wanted just a tiny bit of this miracle elixir.  by the next day, 3rd graders stopped by my classroom because miss ellis' magical testing lotion had been the talk of the turf at recess.


i'm not going to say testing was perfect.  it never is.  one or two kids didn't finish a couple of multiple choice sections and a couple others decided to use their pencils as drumsticks.  what i remembered this week is that sometimes we all need a little encouragement to keep us going or even to get us started on a daunting task.  though a bit of hand lotion may seem trivial to an adult, it certainly reenergized 20 little test-takers and made their teacher smile 3 out of 4 test days!  considering the success of this experiment, i wonder if bath & body works would repackage "be enchanted" with my picture on it?

fun friday reading

since we spent every last minute this week preparing for standardized tests, i took the opportunity to read something fun.  if you haven't read this book or "a chocolate moose for dinner", you should.  they were written by fred gwynne, who played herman munster.  it made my test-stressed kids (and me) laugh 'til we cried.

are you gellin'?

like many teachers, i have an affinity for pens.  however, when a coworker stops by to quickly fill out a form and accidentally purloins my pen or a student sees a sharpie she just can't live without, my supply begins to dwindle. that being said, i hoard any pen i can get my hands on. 


recently, a pen famine has struck and i've been forced to use a pencil.  pencils are great if you like getting graphite stains on the pinky edge of your hand and subsequently on your stylish skirt from the limited, but pens are the preferred tool of writing in MY book. 


today, right as school was beginning, there was a knock on my classroom door. 


in walked the lady from the front desk with a basket decked out in easter decor.  "it's from your secret pal!" she announced in a sing-song voice.


i eagerly accepted the gift and the first thing i noticed was not one, not two, not even three, but EIGHT metallic gel pens!  the kind i used as a high schooler to write meaningful notes to my friends in study hall.  i could barely contain myself, but i held it all together in the name of my profession.


throughout the morning, it was all i could do to keep my mind off all the enchanting butterflies and flowing cursive letters i could be creating.  i even considered signing report cards with shimmering purple ink.  knowing that that would be completely unprofessional, i compromised and used every single color of ink to make notes as i conferred with my students.  i'm not going to lie- i also drew a sparkling pink heart on my left hand.

(that is as tan as this hand will ever be)

while getting a pack of pens might not mean much to some of you, i was catapulted back to the days when gel pens were everything and getting a note composed in that magnificent ink could change your entire mood.

Tales From the Classroom: The Freeze Dance

Picture this.

School has just started in the South, there’s a heat index of 115, and the only place your 3^rd graders have to play is a blacktop that is as torrid as the innermost circle of hell. They’ve been inside for four hours, recess has arrived, and they have a serious case of ants in their pants. You can’t take them out, so your only choice is to find some riveting indoor activity to hold their attention for the next 15 minutes.

What’s an innovative, classroom-ridden teacher to do? Why, she pulls out her iPhone, of course, and heads straight for the 80s playlist. It’s time for The Freeze Dance. Here’s how it works. You play a short clip of a song, pause the music, everyone freezes, then you press play again. It’s even more fun when you switch the song on them after the pause.

The first song you select is “Take on Me” by Aha. No one moves. No one is really quite sure how to dance to this epic 80s tune. No worries, you just move on to Madonna’s “Get Into the Groove”, and a couple of students start with a head move that’s reminiscent of A Night at the Roxbury. By the time you get to “99 Luftballoons”, you’ve got about 12 little Captain Kirks bouncing around the room.

It’s time for the grand finale. You can choose another great Madonna song or go for the kill with the Prince of Pop. Tough call, but you decide to go with “Thriller”, which is the quintessential group dance. Within seconds, you have 24 zombies staggering through your classroom and you have no choice but to join in. Forget The Freeze Dance. You’re all engaged in a full-out remake of MJ’s most famous music video. This indoor recess was a Top 40 hit!

(Photo Courtesy of http://latimesblogs.latimes.com)

beatles birthday

there is a 3rd grade boy-not in my class- that loves the beatles. when i say loves, i mean he wants to be paul mccartney. the only problem is, he has the brightest red hair i've ever seen and it's hard to understand him when he sings because he's so excited, everything gets all jumbled up. when he was in 1st grade, i found out that he was a fan of the fab four and we have had many discussions about our favorite songs, lyrics, and beatle. earlier this week, his teacher told me that he and i shared the same birthday- april 2nd. when he found this out, he brought me picture after picture of beatles- related things. here are two of the best pieces of birthday art i've ever received.

this is an octopus' birthday party (notice the underwater SCUBA "helments". this kid is really attentive to details.)

this is jeremy, the nowhere man, from the yellow submarine. i'll get another picture later of the beatles surrounded by the numbers 1-64, a tribute to the quintessential birthday/valentine's day song...

the revenge that never was...

this is a presidential tall tale written by one of my students in february for presidents' day. he researched JFK by himself...online, at the library, in all of the books about presidents in my classroom...and came up with this. here it is in its original, unedited, amazing form...

********

Now everyone knows the story of John F Kennedy- or so they think. But this is the real story. When Kennedy was a kid he got a football injury in his head, so he forgot some things. When he was on his way to Dallas he went to a buffet then he forgot to pay because his injury in football. When the owner Lee Harvey Oswald found out it was too late. He thought, “I’ve got to do something to get revenge.” So he got his gun and decided to go to Dallas. Well JFks football injury caused him to see in the future. He said to his wife Jackie, “let’s go to the car dealership, because the car we have might be a little dangerous.” So he got a hooded bulletproof car. When Lee Harvey Oswald shot the bulletproof car the bullet ricocheted and hit him in the eye. Later, lee Harvey Oswald died and john f Kennedy lived a long life.

tribute to young prodigies...

nothing funny or exciting happened at school today, except that a 3rd grader said i look like megan fox. not sure whether i'm ok with that or not...i'm probably not...

anyway...

these past couple weeks have taught me why i'm a teacher. i've seen so many incredible things come from such young kids. kids that i thought weren't paying a lick of attention to anything i've said for the past two months have really started shining as we've been getting our narratives ready to publish. they are writing with such craft and command of the english language- skills i don't think i had until mrs. bakke taught me how to really write in 10th grade. they are unsatisfied and bored when reading a book alone or listening to a read aloud if an author uses "said" too many times in dialogue. in fact, using it more than once is enough to make a few of them list at least 10 other verbs of vocalization the author could have replaced that dreaded word with. could it be that i'm doing something right? that something i'm saying is actually getting through to them?

stay tuned for something completely different...perhaps a sampling of personal narratives in a polished state? we shall see...

we're all characters...

"'ello miss ellis," said the artful dodger.

molly mcintire with amelia bedelia!

molly mcintire with alexander who has obviously had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...

molly mcintire in an epic battle with the peddler from caps for sale, which will ultimately be won by hermione granger...

hoop dreams...

it seems i've been rather remiss in my updating of the blog. with benchmark testing in april and starting grad school in may, who can blame me?

anyway, here is a poem written by an NBA hopeful...

Before Recess:
I'm like Kobe and Dirk.
I'm like Dwayne and Tim.
I'm like Lebron and Dwight.

After Recess:
I am Kobe and Dirk.
I am Dwayne and Tim.
I am Lebron and Dwight.
I am Carmello and Kevin G.
I am Joe Johnson and Kevin Durant.
I am Shaq O'Neal and Yao Ming.

diamantes

poems with seven lines

Daylight

Bright, Light

Beaming, Glowing, Lighting

Flame, Clouds…Stars, Darkness

Blinking, Shooting, Listening

Black, Dim

Night

********

Toxic waste

Bubbly, Hazardous

Dying, Pouring, Glowing

Venom, Poison…Clear, Good

Rushing, Running, Splashing

Fresh, Drinkable

Water

********

Puppy

Cute, Cuddly

Running, Playing, Rolling

Leash, Ball…Catnip, Mouse

Scratching, Eating, Shedding

Curious, Furry

Kitten

*******

Florida

Hot, Sandy

Relaxing, Splashing, Inviting

Oceans, Umbrellas…Glaciers, Polar Bears

Chilling, Freezing, Snowing

Cold, Icy

Antarctica

********

Water

Blue, Wet

Splashing, Roaring, Drowning

Cold, Powerful…Furnace, Crimson

Burning, Smoldering, Crippling

Bright, Smokey

Fire

********

Thorn

Sharp, Pointy

Poking, Slicing, Stabbing,

Stem, Vine…Flower, Garden

Smelling, Warming, Lighting

Sweet, Red

Rose

********

Bigfoot

Big, Hairy

Walking, Running, Killing

Ape, Forest…Dino, Lake

Swimming, Eating, Scarring

Slimy, Scary

Nessie

word-count cinquains

poems with five lines:

Hand

Gushy, Soft

Baking, Making, Writing

Helps you a lot

Body

********

Mushu

Fierce, Greedy

Flying, Scaring, Snorting

Saving China with Mulan

Dragon

********

Football

Sport, Rough

Running, Sprinting, Kicking

Can be very scary

Defense

********

Zombies

Scary, Paranormal

Eating, Scaring, Running

Eyes that control you

Tissue

********

Baseball

Anxious, Ready

Running, Throwing, Hitting,

Out of the park

Game

********

Horse

Big, Dazzling

Running, Eating, Stunning

Long hair, short tail

Friend

********

Puppy

Little, Cute

Barking, Cuddling, Crying

Wagging his little tail

Canine

********

Bacon

Greasy, Brown

Sizzling, Bubbling, Crisping

Though it’s not healthy

Pig

********

Water

Liquid, Clear

Moving, Splashing, Using

Cold, Blue

Ice

********

Wolves

Tough, Fierce

Surviving, Howling, Fighting

Eating its innocent prey

Predator

********

Dog

Big, Small

Running, Eating, Jumping

They are very hyper

Puppy

poets and we know it...

it's been many months since i've posted anything. we have been busier than ever in 3rd grade. the kids are blowing me away with all of the higher-level thinking they are doing. i know adults who aren't as talented or as thoughtful as my students in the ways they craft their writing. we are writing diamantes and cinquains this month. as they are published, i will post them here. this is one the students wrote as a class comparing our intern and me.

miss ellis

cute, nerdy

teaching, rocking, joking

teacher, girl...boy, student-teacher

helping, reading, learning

handsome, considerate

mr. hartley

my little lyricist...

S.O.S.

oh boy, i told you mad diner plans for yo and me and no one eles. even not your crazy frans. i don wana be sekent gessin our love. not agin.

new school year...

school starts tomorrow and i met most of my new students yesterday at open house. some of them i knew, and am excited to teach. others are new to estem, and i'm hoping they settle in quickly. almost all of my former students came by and asked why i never had a reading loft in my room. i guess i'm just not as cool as mrs. langrell...lol...but i did get a much bigger room, which will make all the difference in the world!

scholastic skulls...because we like to read!

this is the team flag designed by my class for field day.  they came up with the name, the design, and everything.  i used the hot glue gun...

miss ellis + pokemon = superpowers

tribute to miss ellis by sweet baby james...

anger management and a spelling lesson

we found these diary pages in a student's desk when we were cleaning up...

********
i hate today. i will kill her.

********

i hate math can i go now

********

i hate today i do not like this day one bit. it's just a day day were people fall in love it's no big deill. i mean it who loves valentine's day. i want to go home. somebody tack me home now i can't stand this school tack me home.

********

rahim is so cool i cood kiss him love him so much everday.

********

today is a bad day. i do not like it so nevracking i love kendall but not her sisters today was a ok day i never foreget.

********

today i think i have to babysit my body cuasze i have pe today and that's my bad luck.

isaiah the prophet

abraham lincoln without a beard looks like kramer, the psysically sensitive guy on seinfeld.

********

i love to watch mama mia!

********

look, i wore my church pants to look like prince!

********

i am the reverend al green!

********

my dad's house smells like filet-o-fish!

mr. luckey

notes to miss ellis:

can i go bathroom? imrgenci...

can i seat by danile? he's my dylan...danile...

********

quotes:

i bet they won't break up til they're skellintins...they love each other that much!

i bet ginger beebe is sweet like the gingerbread man and that's why mike beebe likes to kiss her!