another funny one, but not from my kids...

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

lol...

mikayah: i'm asking my daddy for a tarantula. is a tarantula a dog?

miss ellis (not paying attention); a snake, i mean a spider. dang it!

*********

olivia: i love the movie "lean on me". it's not about leaning on anybody, though.

*********

maya: miss ellis, you look like "high school musical"!

from the mouths of babes (pt. 2)...

alexia strikes back...

apparently in an effort to "release her anger" she decided to frame dystinee again and write a note about the famous miss ellis.

dear miss dokey(dookie) ellis,

you are a sh*t and a bab teacher.

love,

denstiny

ok, if you're going to frame someone, spell their name right...and spell your sight words right...am i not doing my job?

not from my kids, but funny still...

from the mouths of babes...

dear mrs. ellis...

i'm sorry fore you haveing to yell at me all the time. i no you dount wan't to waste your breath all the time yelling at me. it's just that your so nice and your my favorite teacher. i never ment to heart you in iny cinned of way. i apielajise about my behaver. i am so sorry.

alexia

if you work at eStem, you know this child...very few people don't know her...

******************

about three months later, it was stated by this same student that "miss ellis is a shity teacher and a bitch"...

james and the giant pig...

james:  what brings freedom to people, carries books, and has a bad cold?

miss ellis:  what, james?

james:  the ACHOO of Liberty, of course!

*********

james: hey look!  it's a skellington rock band.  that's a bottle of ketchup.  i knew there had to be a bottle on the piano 'cause they're in a bar.  i just couldn't let it be whiskey or i'd get in trouble...

*********

james: i LOVE black hole sun, miss ellis!  do you?

*********

james: you are the best teacher of my life.  i never had a teacher like you!

*********

james:  i really don't like to use the restroom at school...it's yucky...i'll hold it

*********

james: i know lots of words that have the "er" sound in them!  term, germ, worm, sperm!

*********

james:  miss ellis, i want to be jack skellington for the halloween carnival.  will you be sally skellington, please?

*********

james:  i love andy warhol so much.  especially the silver clouds.  but i don't love the woman who looked like a man.  she kicked me out...

lee and quawn

lee:  miss ellis, quawn be in love with you.  he say he dream about you.

quawn:  naw, miss ellis!  lee be trippin'!

********

lee:  miss ellis!  jesus be eatin' glue!  he gonna die!

********

quawn:  can do the cupid shuffle.  lee can do the cupid shuffle.  i dare miss ellis to do the cupid shuffle.  in class.  if she don't, she ain't crunk...

********

lee:  i peed in the old man's yard and his dog chase me and try to bite my wrong spot!!!

oh, jesus!

random jesus quotes from '07-'08:

YESSSSS!

no!

i like meat.

i like cheekins!

firespider will save the day!

i have a cheekin name ina and one name snugglewater. they fight. ina peck snugglewater. he died of a bite from a wild dog. or a fox.

my brother, obed, he eat his boogers. he dig for gold and find them and i frew up. on him. and he frew up on me. boogers are salty and sometimes sweet. do you like boogers, miss ellis?

spring poetry by 4th graders...

excitement springing
by markieveus

flowers growing

ants towing

wind blowing

dad mowing

mom sowing

fireflies glowing

turtles slowing

spring EXPLODING!

Spring

By Itzel

When it is spring

You feel like a queen and king

You run about

And shout

When flowers bloom

They open up and BOOM!

They let out their smell

Of wonderful dwell

When you go to the river

You get a shiver

When you jump in

You feel a tickle

Like when you eat a sour pickle

Spring Flowers

By Darius P.

Flowers bloom in spring

The colors are beautiful and they are everything

We look in the light the flowers are bright

And you see when they change it just like a dream.

When the flowers grow they’re like your world of Brightness.

The sun is precious it is the reason

that the beautiful flowers are so bright.

When you smell the blossom it

Feels like you are sleeping on

A cloud.

the funeral of some frogs

miss ellis: oh no, it looks like all our pet frogs have died!

darius: oh miss ellis, ima have a furneral. my papaw is a preacher, he work in a furneral home. can we wait til tomorrow? ima wear my purple pimp suit!

miss ellis: darius, i think we need to have the funeral now. the classroom is starting to smell...

darius: well, i'll lead the parade!

(27 fourth graders and their teacher make their way to the bathroom)

darius: oh dear lord, we loved these frogs. they were our brothers...and maybe sisters. please bless their souls as they make their way into their toilety graves. and let the millipedes live. thank you. we love you. amen. gentlemen, you may sing the furneral song.

markeiveus, kendrick, and kwesie: lean with it, rock with it, lean with it, rock with it...amen!

mrs. mosley: miss ellis, what are you doing in here?

miss ellis: frog funeral

mrs. mosley: i see...carry on...

the best day since christmas break 3/6/07

written after a two month streak of nothing but horrible days at watson elementary...

everything went well today. no major fights, no roasting, no ioc, not even a fire drill.

here is a sampling of the funniness of my day:

marquis: ummm...are there bathrooms in a space suit?

demarcus: miss ellis, i imagined you in a wedding dress. it was like the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini except it was white and red and a dress, not a bikini.

jose: i like my women funny...and from texas...

markieveus: miss ellis, you gotta sign the happy gram...you know how our parents are...they don't ever believe we're good...just a sticker won't cut it, miss ellis.

joshua: i hear voices in my head. they tell me to do bad things, but i don't listen most of the time.

all in all a good day...

dear miss ellis...

i just want to thank you for everything you ever taught me. you are like my best friend because you love to teach me. you are the sharpest teacher i ever had in my whole life.

love your student,

darius perry